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ANDAI HIDUP TANPA ANGGOTA PARLEMEN

 

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Bayangkan kalau hidup tanpa anggota parlemen. Kita pasti tak disibukkan oleh Pemilu. Harus memilih dan musti dengar janji kampanye. Juga yang kita bisa irit adalah emosi. Tak lagi marah dengan berita korupsi apalagi kritik sana sini. Rasanya kita akan sehat secara jiwa karena apa yang kita dengar dan lihat jadi lebih normal. Lebih gembira lagi karena kita tak punya keributan pada soal apa saja. Tentang ketua DPR harus diganti atau tidak atau KPK itu perlu dibatasi wewenangnya atau tidak. Mungkin memang matahari tetap terbit di timur lalu tenggelam di Barat. Hanya keindahan alam itu tak lagi dicoreng oleh kasak kusuk politik yang tak berkesudahan.

Hanya mungkin negeri ini jadi sepi. Tak ada lagi pengamat politik yang bisa berkomentar. Sebab pusat komentar rekornya tetap dipegang oleh parlemen. Tak banyak partai politik berlaga. Bendera partai dan kaosnya yang warna warni akan hilang di jalanan. Baliho senyum anggota dewan atau ketua partai juga akan lenyap. Tapi yang paling kehilangan adalah acara politik. Tak lagi ada debat seru karena hilang anggota parlemen. Juga tak banyak lagi demonstrasi yang sasaranya senayan. Mungkin kota jadi normal tapi kurang riuh. Belum lagi acara televisi nanti isinya pasti iklan dan tak lagi banyak diskusi. Hidup seperti meluncur dalam kehampaan. Kita seolah seperti kawat jemuran yang dipapar oleh panas matahari: bosan dan capek!

Jadi parlemen itu kita butuh. Bukan hanya untuk hiburan. Kita banyak dapat pelajaran. Dulu ada tokoh yang biasa senyum sana sini. Tapi tiba-tiba namanya lupa ketika di persidangan. Juga ada yang uangnya berlipat ganda tapi lupa ketika ditanya dari mana asalnya. Di samping pelajaran kita juga bisa mendapat tauladan. Misalnya pada mereka yang bajunya selalu menawan, parasnya selalu saja ceria dan komentarnya tak pernah bisa menentramkan. Kita seperti mendapat tauladan robot: hati bisa beku tapi penampilan bisa manusiawi. Bahkan kita pun dapat pelajaran wirausaha. Jabatan wakil rakyat tapi tetap bisa sambil berdagang, berusaha hingga punya kekayaan luar biasa. Singkatnya kita bisa menjadi manusia yang unggul jika bisa menjabat seperti mereka: dihormati, dihargai dan kini dilindungi.

Maka memikirkan parlemen bubar itu sungguh kejahatan. Kita jadi seperti Hitler; memusnahkan apa yang tak disuka dan mengganti dengan yang tak jelas apanya. Mending yang sudah ada kita perbaiki kekuranganya. Seumpama parlemen itu kurang peka maka kita butuh bantuan tekhnologi atau apapun yang bisa membuat mereka lebih peka. Misalnya sistem pemancar yang ditaruh di tiap meja anggota sehingga saat ada musibah apa saja muncul tandanya. Mungkin sinyal atau suara jeritan. Jika parlemen itu kurang jujur kita bisa mohon doa sebanyak-banyaknya agar Tuhan selalu meluruskan niat mereka dan siapa tahu menambah jumlah malaikat yang mengawasi tiap anggota. Persis seperti harapan ketua parlemen yang baru: kritiklah kami jika tak mempan kritik lagi. Dan kalau tak mempan kritik terus. Lakukan itu berulang-ulang hingga kamu bosan!

Coba sekali lagi bayangkan jika anggota parlemen itu musnah. Kita mungkin akan menghemat banyak. Tak ada uang kunjungan, tak ada uang rapat dan tak ada uang suap. Uang itu fungsinya jadi sempit: alat tukar dan sumbangan. Kita bisa jadi sedih karena mulut hanya mengeluarkan suara. Jika masih ada parlemen mulut dapat berperan ganda: bisa keluarkan janji tapi juga bisa ingkari. Sungguh parlemen itu adalah mimpi indah hidup di dunia. Jadi kita mengerti bahwa ada profesi yang bisa apa saja: mewakili keinginan rakyat, membuat rakyat punya harapan dan tentu dapat bikin rakyat kecewa. Singkatnya parlemen mampu menggantikan fungsi bencana. Kalau bencana itu bisa diketahui berapa kerugianya tapi keberadaan parlemen kita nggak tahu seberapa banyak keuntunganya.

Maaf ini hanya ‘SEANDAINYA’.

 

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