Suluh Pergerakan

ANDAI GOJEK JADI WAKIL RAKYAT !!

 

Soyez realistes, demandez L’impossible” (Bersikaplah realitis, tuntutlah yang tak mungkin) – Paris 1968

***

Bayangkan Gojek kita beri mandat. Urus soal keamanan, pendidikan hingga kesejahteraan. Semuanya bisa dirinci dengan bayaran yang sudah pasti. Gojek tak perlu rapat dan berdebat. Asal tahu tujuan dan jarak semua bisa dibereskan. Kalau soal keamanan, tinggal beritahu mana daerah rawan dan mana yang berpotensi rusuh. Gojek datang beritahu pada aparat setempat dan institusi yang berwenang. Cepat, murah dan kita masih dimintai komentar tentang layanan. Sungguh menyenangkan.

Andaikata Gojek diminta urus pendidikan. Kita tinggal memberitahu apa yang kita inginkan. Kurikulum yang mudah, lulusan yang unggul atau jam sekolah yang menyenangkan. Semua usul itu tinggal dipastikan mana yang dipilih. Gojek kemudian datang pada dinas terkait menyampaikan semua usulan. Tak ada debat, tak perlu rapat dan kita mendapat keputusan yang memuaskan. Kita bisa merasakan perubahan langsung pada sekolah yang baru didatangi. Sangat menggembirakan.

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Kalau saja Gojek jadi wakil rakyat kita akan mudah mengenali mereka. Memakai jaket tulisan Gojek kemudian kesana kemari dengan motor yang standar. Kita tahu namanya, wajahnya hingga merk motor serta platnya. Tiap saat bisa kita memanggilnya. Cukup dengan pencet ia akan datang. Pada situasi apapun, dalam cuaca apa saja dan yang penting selalu siap melayani. Lebih penting lagi, dilarang meremehkan, tak boleh menyinggung dan musti menghormati pelanggan. Sangat memuaskan.

Jika Gojek jadi wakil rakyat kita tak perlu banyak anggaran. Sekarang saja semua perusahaan raksasa mau biayai perusahaanya. Ada yang sumbang sampai triliunan. Ada yang ratusan milliar. Singkatnya mereka tak pernah kekurangan uang dan malah bisa dapat laba. Tak mungkin pula mereka korupsi karena itu semua bisa membuat para penyumbang akan melakukan tuntutan. Reputasi buruk bisa buat mereka bangkrut. Gojek itu institusi terpercaya dan tak perlu anggaran negara. Jika tak percaya coba buat pertanyaan sederhana: mana yang kamu lebih percayai DPR atau Gojek? Pasti kamu akan tercengang dengar jawabanya.

Maka kalau Gojek jadi wakil rakyat kita tak perlu mikir kantornya. Jalanan itulah tempat mereka beraktivitas. Langsung ketemu rakyat yang diwakili dan biaya paling mungkin hanya servis serta bensin. Tak perlu mereka rapat berpanjang-panjang waktu, tak usah mereka berdebat berkali-kali dan tak penting pula membuat aturan untuk melindungi mereka. Aturan yang penting hanya aturan lalu lintas: simpel, mudah dan tak berbiaya tinggi.  Semua bisa dibereskan di jalanan dan semua tak mengandung biaya berlebihan. Seragam mereka cukup helm dan jas. Sangat radikal.

Yang penting jika Gojek jadi wakil rakyat tak perlu lagi ada Pemilu. Mereka akan mendaftar kemudian diberi jaket dan langsung melayani rakyat. Tak ada kampanye, tak perlu spanduk dan tak perlu parpol. Serahkan urusan pada Gojek maka keinginan, kebutuhan dan layanan otomatis akan diterima. Bahkan yang menggembirakan lagi kita tak perlu menyaksikan debat dengan wakil rakyat untuk soal tertentu. Semua soal sudah bisa diketahui di jalan. Kita tak perlu demonstrasi mendatangi senayan karena mereka semua ada  di jalan. Sungguh mengharukan!

Yang utama kita berharap semoga Gojek memikirkan gagasan itu semua. Layanan mereka sudah komplit: antar kemana-mana, bisa pesan makan apa saja, mahir kirim barang kemanapun dan memenuhi kebutuhan siapun. Mau pijat, mau bersih rumah hingga mau belanja. Gojek tinggal menaruh fitur wakil rakyat maka kita tinggal memencetnya. Jika itu semua terjadi rasanya: pasti menyenangkan, membahagiakan dan MENGEJUTKAN!

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